Yes, the economy is in the toilet, but that does not mean that your love life should follow. I just skimmed Essence Magazine's most recent issue (April 2009), and found a great article that I thought would be quite useful to those of you out there that are interested in "recession-proofing" your love life.
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"Love Don't Cost a Thing," By Chloe Hilliard (Essence Magazine, April 2009 issue, p. 82)
Even though times are tough, there's no reason for your dating life to plummet like the stock market. Try these tips for high-romance, low-finance fun.
Before the recession, your date night might have been spent at a chic restaurant. But times - and disposable incomes - have changed. "Now I have to be a little bit tighter," says Rhamon Daley, 33, a teacher who used to think nothing of dropping $120 on a date with a special lady. The next time your leading man asks what you want to do, keep these fiscally responsible ideas in mind.
Expand Your Horizons
"There are several things you can do other than dinner and a movie," says Jess McCann, author of You Lost Him at Hello: A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal With Any Guy You Want (HCI). Instead of heading to a dark theater to sit in silence, try an unconventional outing like visiting a local monument, going to a bookstore for an author reading or signing, venturing to a museum (many have free nights), or volunteering for community service together.
Break a Sweat
What better way to get an idea of his stamina than to test it? Try renting bikes to cycle around the city, borrowing some tennis rackets from friends and heading to an outdoor court, or going to a local track to run a few laps together (it's ok to go at a chatting pace). To get even closer (and avoid messing up your hair), ask your guy to join you at a Chicago step or tango dance class - some dance studios offer the first class for free. Or go for an afternoon stroll hand in hand through a scenic park.
Work the Web
Search online for great information on free concerts, events at a discount and cheap eats. Citysearch.com, Dailycandy.com and Going.com can help you uncover local jewels that are trendy and inexpensive. If you forget to plan ahead, don't worry. Urbanspoon.com has a new application for iPhone users that will offer restaurant suggestions based on price, cuisine preference and the neighborhood in which you're located.
Dine at a Discount
"Don't take advantage of your date," says Dorothy Robinson, coauthor of Dating Makes You Want to Die: But You Have to Do It Anyway (Collins Living). Just because he's likely to pick up the tab doesn't mean you should order from the steak side of the menu. And you shouldn't turn your nose up if he takes you to a chain restaurant. Better yet, spend the afternoon picking up delicious ingredients at a local farmers' market, then cook à deux. Things will heat up!
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Don't Let The Economy Affect Your Love Life
Claiming Your Victory in Troubled Times, Part II
In response to the comment in my blog posting below, "Claiming Your Victory in Troubled Times," I decided to make a follow-up post that provides more detailed advice and information for those who are dealing with hardship and anxiety during these tough economic times and are looking for some concrete advice. Lo and behold, I tripped upon an interesting article in one of my favorite magazines, "Essence," which provides some good advice for those who are interested in confronting their anxiety and looking for solutions:
As a part of an article entitled "High Anxiety," (p. 110) featured in Essence Magazine's March 2009 edition, Angela Neal-Barnett, Ph.D., offers some advice in her piece entitled "Transforming Anxiety Into Action," providing tips on how to draft a plan "with measurable results and time frames," using the following steps below:
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1) Turn Your Worry into A Goal
"I'll never pay off all these bills" becomes "I want to be free of all credit card debt by 2015."
2) Figure out what specific actions will get you to your goal.
Do you need to look for a part-time job on the weekends to earn an extra $100 a week? Do you need to work an extra five years before you can retire?
3) Work around stumbling blocks.
In the past, what has stopped you from reaching your goal? Be honest. Perhaps, for instance, you've been stashing away your credit-card statements without reading them. Make opening your mail the first thing you do when you come home.
4) Measure and monitor your progress.
Will you, for instance, check in with a debt counselor once a month to stay accountable to your credit-card repayment schedule?
5) Congratulate yourself periodically.
As you reach a milestone, indulge in a treat that will keep you motivated.
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Dr. Neal-Barnett also provides advice in another segment of this Essence article, "High Anxiety," in a piece entitled "3 Steps To Serenity," below:
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1) Deconstuct Your Demons. "What we say we're afraid of is really our core fear," says therapist Angela Neal-Barnett, who suggests leading yourself in what she calls the "so what?" chorus. Ask yourself what's so troubling about the dreaded consequences, and drill down until you get to their emotional root. For instance, a sister panicked about her plummeting 401(k) may initially say that she fears losing everything. So what? She may delay retirement another 15 years. So what? She doesn't want to work for the rest of her life. That's the core fear - working herself to the grave - not postponing retirement. With that knowledge, she can work with an adviser to figure out measures (such as catch-up payments and additional revenue streams) so that she may only have to raise her retirement age five years or so.
2) Stay in the moment. Once you've figured out the "so what," stop dwelling on the what-ifs. Lama Choyin Rangdrol, an African-American Buddhist meditation teacher and the founder of Rainbowdharma, suggests this exercise: Inhale and imagine the air is cleansing your body. Then exhale as you imagine the air clearing out the confusions, stress and anxiety. Use it to put the breaks on runaway thoughts.
3) Get treatment if you need it. See a medical, mental health or substance abuse professional if anxiety interferes with your sleep, work, appetite or other aspects of your daily life for a prolonged period.
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I am no stranger to anxiety and stress, so I empathize when others are searching for advice and crave some sort of concrete advice for their various circumstances. I hope these pieces from this March 2009 Essence article ("High Anxiety") are helpful to those of you out there looking for some piece of mind in this headache of an economic mess. These tips, in addition to the many more provided by other experts, should help mitigate some of the anxiety that you may be facing at the moment. 
