Buy a new pair of shoes!
Have you ever had a day that was just so randomly bizarre that you have to laugh about it? Well, I had that kind of day today. After dealing with Times Square madness this morning and sitting through an excruciatingly boring four-hour taped lecture for the MPRE exam (a professional responsibility exam that many law students are required to take in order to become a licensed attorney) with two ten-minute breaks, I had to endure my first (and hopefully - only) heel break in NYC (very "Sex and the City"). Any woman who has had her heel snap in half while walking in a crowded area (especially in the Big Apple) knows that this is an incredibly annoying and embarrassing circumstance, especially when it involves one of her favorite pairs of shoes! Pre-heel break, I was walking towards a nearby subway, with a heavy backpack, attempting to take off my jacket (it was relatively warm out today) while also trying to pass a group of elderly men and women, who looked down when they heard the very crunchy snap of my dear shoe. I then realized what the sound was, immediately noticed the drastic change in my gait, and I had to think fast! I rushed into a nearby building (a bank), tried to snap my semi-detached heel back in place (which did not work), and then tried to walk with one functional heel with as much grace as possible to a nearby taxi cab to take me back to my apartment.
When I got home, I could not help but think about the whole circumstance and laugh about it, despite a lingering desire to feel incredibly embarrassed and irritated about the whole thing. However, I realized that my desire to laugh about the heel break came from a realization that life just happens - and little situations like this keep it interesting, despite the specific complications of the situation at hand. Instead of feeling really embarrassed, I instead focused on the fact that I was lucky that the heel did not snap in the subway, where I would not have had as easy access to a cab at all, and I felt incredibly lucky that the heel snapped at the end of my day, on my way home. When a local shoe repair shop employee told me later today that the shoe would require a complete heel replacement (and he would have to replace the good heel as well since it would be a completely different heel color all together), I declined putting the shoes through the extended misery and threw them away in a nearby trash can on my way back to my apartment and did not look back, knowing that I could just get a new pair this weekend, fresh and ready to be worn.
What's my overall point of this lovely and somewhat petty rant about my day? If you are going through a crazy situation, try and see the light at the end of the tunnel and notice whatever "good" may be hiding in the circumstance. Perhaps it is a situation that you will be able to look back on and laugh, express gratefulness that you made it through, and move on. And perhaps purchase a new set of shoes as you walk on. ;)
When Life Hands You a Broken Heel...
Blacks Who "Grow Up White" - The "Oreo"/"Carlton" Complex
When I ask "what's your oreo status?," I'm not asking if you have a package of Oreo cookies in your kitchen cupboard. Nope - I'm going deeper on this one. When I ask this question, I'm asking: To what degree are you "black" on the outside and "white" on the inside? And is this even a legit question? What does it even mean to be black on the outside and white on the inside? Despite the ridiculousness of this question, plenty of people still refer to others as Oreos or imply it through their statements, so I am taking a moment to blog about it. 
A lot of blacks get accused of being "Oreos" - a phenomenon I find quite intriguing. These "Carlton-esque" types (think "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air") are considered contrary to the norm because on some level, they remind people of what is considered "white culture" or "white standards" and yet, on the outside, happen to be black. Those who freely call others Oreos are likely to abide by the principle that speaking "white" is in opposition to speaking "black" (e.g. to speak articulately and without any usage of ebonics/broken English). "Oreo" logic also suggests that studying and doing well in school can turn you into an Oreo - as if studying and learning is so "culturally white" that you may as well just forget about studying and do something else if you want to maintain the true essence of "blackness" and remain cool among your peers.
Now...I have sympathy for Oreos. It is harder to be an Oreo in American society because they are fighting the multitude of stereotypes held against black Americans. Why bother risk being viewed as an Oreo and possible alienation by your peers?
Viewing my life through the lens of "Oreo-ology," I did indeed grow up as an Oreo but I didn't necessarily have what most people consider the "typical black American" experience growing up - my family is from the Caribbean (I am first-generation American) and I grew up in a predominately privileged white suburb, so I wasn't as much of an "other" to my peers because techically, we were mostly all "culturally white" - whether or not you were racially white. But I do believe my personality and my growing up experience would have been different if I, for example, grew up in a predominately black American environment which was not as economically privileged and more prone to critique me if I exhibited "Carlton" characteristics.
Every now and again I am reminded of my supposed "Carlton" status by various people - but I find that older non-black Americans (as well as non-blacks abroad), on average, are more likely to bring it to my attention as I grow older (I have recently been compared to Condoleeza Rice for some reason when I dress in either business casual or a formal suit). On average, people have said, "Wow, you are so articulate" or the classic "Well, you are different" comment (in their interesting attempt to compare me to "most black Americans") - as if somehow being black automatically means that I cannot form a grammatically correct sentence in my head or my personality and character are somehow an anomaly in the black American experience. I will admit that when people make these statements, I tend to automatically put them in the "ignorant" category in my head because I find it somewhat esoteric that they are shocked by the existence of an articulate black person, considering the growing amount of black politicians and media moguls that clearly defy the stereotypes out there. Now I just laugh it off, but it is still amusing to see someone get confused when they hear me talking on the cell phone and wonder how my voice is associated with brown skin.
Yet, I don't think that my existence makes them rethink their stereotypes of black Americans - I, to many of them, am the exception - just like Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and President Barack Obama appear to be the "black exception" within the political arena. Clearly such "stereotypers" are not aware of the growing numbers of Oreos my age and younger who are bursting forth onto the professional scene. I just hope they don't get too overwhelmed by cookie overload.
Conceptualizing a Voluptuous Woman Within a Thin Standard
Main Entry:
vo·lup·tu·ous
Pronunciation:
\və-ˈləp(t)-shə-wəs, -shəs\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English, from Latin voluptuosus, irregular from voluptas pleasure, from volup pleasurable; akin to Greek elpesthai to hope, Latin velle to wish — more at will
Date:
14th century
1 a: full of delight or pleasure to the senses : conducive to or arising from sensuous or sensual gratification : luxurious
synonyms see sensuous
— vo·lup·tu·ous·ly adverb
— vo·lup·tu·ous·ness noun
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Somehow, over time, the term "voluptuous" evolved from the above definition that was used as a pleasant description for the female mystique and beautiful curves to just another way of saying “fat.” An example of this transition is a situation in which a girl was talking about one of my friends to a guy and described my friend to him as “voluptuous,” and he immediately responded, “Oh…she’s fat.” Not only did this offend my friend when she heard about the situation, but it also offended my own personal understanding of the term “voluptuous.” How is it that in today’s day and age where women are running to plastic surgeons for breast and butt implants, we still find the term voluptuous to be an offensive and/or negative term?
A few days after my friend told me about this story, I was watching "Good Morning America" and one of the top Victoria’s Secret models, the stunning Marisa Miller, came on to be interviewed and disclosed the fact that she is considered a “curvy model” in the modeling industry – to the astonishment of Diane Sawyer, who could not believe that this model was categorized as “curvy" (she must have also considered the term "curvy" to mean "voluptuous"/"fat").
Her measurements, as listed by Wikipedia, are 34D-23-35 (US), 5 feet, 8 inches tall. I understand that she has a larger-than-the-norm breast size for the modeling industry, but labeling Ms. Miller as "curvy" is quite strange in my opinion - she is incredibly thin, and yet, the modeling industry chooses to call her curvy because she does not fit into the standard of non-breast/non-butt that the modeling industry chooses to promote and blast across magazine pages every month.
The more important question I have now is – do you accept what you see? I hope the answer is yes. And if it is not - I truly do hope that at some point, you will accept your body and your beauty overall.
One of the reasons why I created this blog is because I wanted to encourage women to accept themselves and celebrate their unique beauty. So if you have curves, I say rock them! Be comfortable in your own skin. Dove’s national campaigns about accepting your own natural beauty and the show “Do I Look Good Naked?” are relatively recent nation-wide additions to the subtle yet powerful underground revolution against the “unhealthy skinny” prototype that has been promulgated by the modeling industry down women’s throats, as if to say that curvy women must accept that their bodies are considerably second-class to the thin prototypes found in high fashion magazines.
I disagree. It’s time to stop chastising the curvy female form – no matter what size it comes in – and start celebrating what we have naturally been given – and celebrate the fact that it is a wonderful thing to have curve – and it is a major compliment to be considered “curvy.”
What We Can Learn From Tyler Perry About Love
I am a huge fan of Tyler Perry, and have been inspired by every single one of his films (I particularly love "Madea's Family Reunion" and "Why Did I Get Married?"). He has an uncanny ability to appeal to a very large audience, crossing racial, religious, and national boundaries. He knows how to appeal to the heart while tickling your funny bone, and it is not hard to feel refreshed and amused at the end of any of Perry's films. I just ran across this article on Essence.com entitled "Tyler Perry's Love Lessons," and I was amused by Essence's ability to extract a few of the many love themes within his movies. I think we can all learn something from Perry's lessons and continue to support his creative plots so more people can take advantage of his unique messages and apply them to their own personal lives and relationships: (click on link below)
Tyler Perry's Love Lessons
Skin Care for Every Age
Skin care is incredibly important for women of every age, color, and skin type, and every skin care regimen is person-specific, suiting her age, her type of skin, as well as her lifestyle. Inspired by the youthful glow of the older women in my family, I've taken advantage of opportunities to talk to them about effective skin regimens and tips, and I have made it a point to make wise investments in the right products that will maximize my skin's smoothness, clarity and vitality. Ever since I've moved to New York City, I became particularly aware of the elements I was exposed to everyday (bus exhaust, etc) that could mess with my pores, so I particularly took advantage of my Conair Face Spa, which gently cleanses and refreshes my pores. I also take advantage of good facial scrubs and masks (both pricey and not-so-pricey) that also add various beneficial effects to my skin overall. Although I am only 26, I find that now is a better time than ever to make sure my regimen is on point so I won't have to deal with more issues than I care to deal with as I age into my 30s and 40s. Plus, I think Botox is overrated.
Total Beauty has provided an excellent summary of skin care products for different age groups, and I think it is worth a quick read:
The Right Skin Care for Your Age
If you make the right choices for your skin today, you will have less "skin maintenance" work to do in the future, so make wise decisions, and be sure to speak to skin consultants in department stores if you need specific advice on your type of skin or on particular skin issues such as acne or wrinkle-prevention. 
Claiming Your Victory in Troubled Times, Part II
In response to the comment in my blog posting below, "Claiming Your Victory in Troubled Times," I decided to make a follow-up post that provides more detailed advice and information for those who are dealing with hardship and anxiety during these tough economic times and are looking for some concrete advice. Lo and behold, I tripped upon an interesting article in one of my favorite magazines, "Essence," which provides some good advice for those who are interested in confronting their anxiety and looking for solutions:
As a part of an article entitled "High Anxiety," (p. 110) featured in Essence Magazine's March 2009 edition, Angela Neal-Barnett, Ph.D., offers some advice in her piece entitled "Transforming Anxiety Into Action," providing tips on how to draft a plan "with measurable results and time frames," using the following steps below:
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1) Turn Your Worry into A Goal
"I'll never pay off all these bills" becomes "I want to be free of all credit card debt by 2015."
2) Figure out what specific actions will get you to your goal.
Do you need to look for a part-time job on the weekends to earn an extra $100 a week? Do you need to work an extra five years before you can retire?
3) Work around stumbling blocks.
In the past, what has stopped you from reaching your goal? Be honest. Perhaps, for instance, you've been stashing away your credit-card statements without reading them. Make opening your mail the first thing you do when you come home.
4) Measure and monitor your progress.
Will you, for instance, check in with a debt counselor once a month to stay accountable to your credit-card repayment schedule?
5) Congratulate yourself periodically.
As you reach a milestone, indulge in a treat that will keep you motivated.
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Dr. Neal-Barnett also provides advice in another segment of this Essence article, "High Anxiety," in a piece entitled "3 Steps To Serenity," below:
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1) Deconstuct Your Demons. "What we say we're afraid of is really our core fear," says therapist Angela Neal-Barnett, who suggests leading yourself in what she calls the "so what?" chorus. Ask yourself what's so troubling about the dreaded consequences, and drill down until you get to their emotional root. For instance, a sister panicked about her plummeting 401(k) may initially say that she fears losing everything. So what? She may delay retirement another 15 years. So what? She doesn't want to work for the rest of her life. That's the core fear - working herself to the grave - not postponing retirement. With that knowledge, she can work with an adviser to figure out measures (such as catch-up payments and additional revenue streams) so that she may only have to raise her retirement age five years or so.
2) Stay in the moment. Once you've figured out the "so what," stop dwelling on the what-ifs. Lama Choyin Rangdrol, an African-American Buddhist meditation teacher and the founder of Rainbowdharma, suggests this exercise: Inhale and imagine the air is cleansing your body. Then exhale as you imagine the air clearing out the confusions, stress and anxiety. Use it to put the breaks on runaway thoughts.
3) Get treatment if you need it. See a medical, mental health or substance abuse professional if anxiety interferes with your sleep, work, appetite or other aspects of your daily life for a prolonged period.
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I am no stranger to anxiety and stress, so I empathize when others are searching for advice and crave some sort of concrete advice for their various circumstances. I hope these pieces from this March 2009 Essence article ("High Anxiety") are helpful to those of you out there looking for some piece of mind in this headache of an economic mess. These tips, in addition to the many more provided by other experts, should help mitigate some of the anxiety that you may be facing at the moment. 
Why the New York Post Should Be Boycotted
*Note: For those of you who have a predisposition for disliking blog posts having anything to do with race matters, I very much encourage you to stop reading this now.*
The New York Post has pretty much gotten away with quite a number of provoking images under the protective umbrella of freedom of speech. However, the Post is still subject to its dependence on making a profit from its readers and advertisers, which may diminish in light of a vast number of people who have already decided to boycott the Post in response to an allegedly racist image that has angered many around the country and the world. (To be fair - I commend some Post employees who have actually stated that the cartoon was a terrible idea. Perhaps they should consider working for a more cultivated and enlightened publication.)
I have quite a number of things to say about the cartoon - however, AP News covered this topic and summed up the whole matter quite succinctly:
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NY Post cartoon of dead chimpanzee stirs outrage
By: Karen Matthews, Associated Press Writer – Wed Feb 18, 6:20 pm ET
NEW YORK – A New York Post cartoon that some have interpreted as comparing President Barack Obama to a violent chimpanzee gunned down by police drew outrage Wednesday from civil rights leaders and elected officials who said it echoed racist stereotypes of blacks as monkeys.
The cartoon in Wednesday's Post by Sean Delonas shows two police officers, one with a smoking gun, standing over the body of a bullet-riddled chimp. The caption reads: "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill."
The cartoon refers to a chimpanzee named Travis who was killed Monday by police in Stamford, Conn., after it mauled a friend of its owner.
Some critics called the cartoon racist and said it trivialized a tragedy in which a woman was disfigured and a chimpanzee killed. Others said the cartoon suggests that Obama should be assassinated. Many urged a boycott of the Post and the companies that advertise in it.
"How could the Post let this cartoon pass as satire?" said Barbara Ciara, president of the National Association of Black Journalists. "To compare the nation's first African-American commander in chief to a dead chimpanzee is nothing short of racist drivel."
State Sen. Eric Adams called it a "throwback to the days" when black men were lynched.
The Rev. Al Sharpton called the cartoon "troubling at best given the historic racist attacks of African-Americans as being synonymous with monkeys."
The cartoon set off a furious response against the Post. Its phones rang all day with angry callers. Protesters picketed the tabloid's Manhattan offices, demanding an apology and a boycott and chanting "shut the Post down."
Col Allan, editor-in-chief of the Post, defended the work.
"The cartoon is a clear parody of a current news event, to wit the shooting of a violent chimpanzee in Connecticut," Allan said in a statement. "It broadly mocks Washington's efforts to revive the economy. Again, Al Sharpton reveals himself as nothing more than a publicity opportunist."
The cartoon drew hundreds of comments on the Internet including at the liberal Huffington Post, where columnist Sam Stein wrote: "At its most benign, the cartoon suggests that the stimulus bill was so bad, monkeys may as well have written it. Most provocatively, it compares the president to a rabid chimp."
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs declined comment.
"I have not seen the cartoon," he told reporters aboard Air Force One as Obama returned to Washington from Arizona, where he announced his plan to deal with the foreclosure crisis. "But I don't think it's altogether newsworthy reading the New York Post."
...
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I think it would be foolish to sit back and assume that the Post did not have a clue as to the hidden meaning and/or possible interpretation of that cartoon. However, if the Post truly does lack sensitivity on race-related matters (which their half-apology appears to suggest), perhaps they should take some time to enlighten themselves before their cartoons empty their pockets.
