Don't Let Anyone Limit Your Dreams
Back To School Style - Are You Ready?
Kwan (my boyfriend) and I just came back from the mall and of course, ran into the "back to school" mall traffic! As we walked past different stores, I couldn't help but notice the various fashions and the amount of young men and women exploring the racks in most of the stores, looking for the perfect outfits. I would like to encourage any student who is about to go back to school (grade school, college, grad school, etc.) to not get too caught up in trying to fit into any particular fashion standard. For example, don't feel pressured into wearing skinny jeans, baggy jeans, showing more skin, wearing crazy high gladiator heels, or wearing clothing that is way too tight to breathe in! Instead, find clothes that you like, regardless of whether or not they are up to par with the standards set by Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, or Vogue Magazine. I just graduated from grad school, but this time of year always reminds me of the excitement of going to the store and picking out the newest clothes for school that I thought fit my body well, and clothes that accentuated my personality and style. (I also had a funny tendency to buy a shirt in more than one color if I really liked it :)). I personally preferred stores like Macy's, Sears, and Kohl's, and occasionally checked out JC Penny's - all of the stores had amazing back to school deals, and I always did my research and studied each catalogue ahead of time to nail down which clothes that I liked the best.
If by chance you are not able to splurge on clothes and new fashions this fall season, do not fret! Find different ways to combine your outfits and create a new look that you would wear to school. Have fun combining different scarves, shirts and blouses with your skirts, pants and shorts, change up which shoes you choose to wear with different outfits, and change up your color combinations for a new style. I would also suggest even changing up your makeup or hairdo style in order to give your overall appearance a fresh new look. I also recommend that you do not compare yourself to others and their choice of style - As I always say, be you, and create your own style. You never know, you may set a new trend, and people will want to copy your style!
Is Lil' Wayne the New Denzel?
Now, I don't mean to sound superficial, but really? Lil Wayne may be popular on the music charts (which is questionable enough on its own), but I really don't think most women are attracted to that look. In fact, I don't think most women are attracted to guys who don't pull their pants up and/or dress appropriately overall. So my question is: why do guys think that it is cool and attractive to dress this way? I have asked my guy friends this question, and they just shrug their shoulders as well. I personally think these "Lil Wayne" look-alikes are just confused, they don't realize how they actually appear in society, and are completely unaware of the vast amount of women who find the look incredibly unattractive as well as unappealing. I have never heard a girl swoon over guys who dress like Lil Wayne - with a shirt way too big, pants hanging off their behind, etc. On the other hand, I've heard plenty of women swoon over Denzel Washington/Morris Chestnut/Boris Kudjoe/Tay Diggs/Blair Underwood types PLENTY of times (see pics below).
I have always been attracted to men who know how to dress well and carry themselves with class, and I don't think I am an anomaly among most women. I just hope the young men clueless enough to dress so inappropriately choose to wise up and pull their pants up if they really want to attract a good woman.
Do Men Prefer Long Hair?
I just came across some random youtube videos of women combing really long hair, and as much as I found the hair itself lovely, I was slightly disturbed by the amount of male commenters underneath the videos stating that the hair was "so sexy," etc. I understand that these people could simply have a long hair fetish, but I then wondered if men naturally prefer women with longer hair.
Stress and Beauty - A Major Disconnect
Have you ever wondered about the relationship between stress and beauty? You may actually be concerned about how the stress in your life may be affecting your health, and perhaps, even your youthful glow. Additionally, the media pours beauty products down our throats on a daily basis, convincing us that if we do happen to show signs of stress or age, there is always a product that can fix it.
Stress can have serious effects on your beauty. According to Shakila Akhter in her article, "Stress Leads to Ugliness," (2002) "Emotional stresses disturb the body homeostasis that results in hormonal malfunctioning, impairment of body immunological functions and slows down the skin rejuvenation." Akhter provides further explanation of the skin and its renewal process:
"Skin constantly renews itself. At young age the cell renewal process completes within 28 days but as we grow older the speed of this process slows down. In addition to age that process is also effected due to our mental state of mind. The period of mental disturbance slows down the process of cell renewal, destroys collagen fibers in the skin, breaks down its elastin and increases the production of sebum oils in oily skin people and dehydrate dry skin."
Your mental health is therefore the key to beautiful skin, so take care of your mind as well as your skin on a daily basis in order to maintain a youthful glow and complexion. This sounds easier than done, right? I totally agree with you. I have always been aware of the effects that stress has on my hair and skin, but some of the information and advice regarding how to relieve stress was incompatible with my personality and/or lifestyle. Akhter provides some very basic and helpful tips that can help with relieving stress and minimizing stressful effects on your beauty (This list is especially useful if you notice side effects of stress like physical changes (e.g. weight gain, weight loss, hair breakage, skin changes, etc.):
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-First of all just leave the stressful situation and drink a glass of water.
-Don’t make any decision during those phases.
-Don’t make any negative judgement about yourself.
-Think about positive traits of your personality. Nobody is ideal and perfect in this world. Every one has some weakness, if you too have some than there is nothing wrong with you.
-Don’t try to seek the help of cigarette, alcohol or any drug.
-Get involved yourself in some easy to do work like cleaning your wardrobe, arranging your bookshelf, do painting. But whatever work you start you have to complete it.
-Call your friend, talk to him/her about your problem. If you don’t want to do so than just take a paper and write down about every thing that is coming to your mind without censoring anything.
-Do aerobics or yoga or just go out for a long walk.
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I have a terribly bad habit of drinking coffee when I am really stressed out, and I am currently in the process of changing that bad habit and am choosing to drink more water overall. I stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, I tend to talk out issues with close friends, and I am a big fan of exercising (particularly running, pilates, yoga and dance). When I am really stressed, I like to take epsom salt baths as soon as possible, which relax my body and mind.
My Issue with Pantene's Hair Products
Let me preface this post by stating that I have absolutely nothing against the Pantene brand in and of itself. I love their advertisements, and the brand definitely puts itself out there for the purpose of raising awareness for different causes, which I think is an excellent move. On a personal level however, I don't care for Pantene, based on my own experience with their products. Furthermore, I have a personal tick against any company that promotes beauty products for women of color and the products do not deliver what they promise. If you type in "pantene" and "women of color," you will indubitably find complaint after complaint in numerous forums across the internet, created over the course of several years (in fact, when I type in "pantene" and "women of color," the first hit that appears in google is an actual site entitled "Warning About Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner for Women of Color"). Interestingly enough, my experience with the Pantene Relaxed and Natural Shampoo as well as Pantene Beautiful Lengths shampoo was not at all far from the experiences of other women - the shampoo pretty much weakened my hair and directly contributed to some really annoying breakage. The second main ingredient in the Pantene Relaxed and Natural Shampoo happens to be petroleum, which just coats the hair with grease, rather than adding any strength to the hair strand. The main ingredients in the Pantene Beautiful Lengths Shampoo seem to be quite normal for any shampoo, but there is something else in their list of ingredients that had the exact same breakage impact on my hair. Yet, when I switch to my other hair products that I always tend to use (usually dominican products), my hair goes back to normal and the breakage stops. Go figure. A vast majority of other women in the forums online seem to have the same experience.