The Pressure to Fit In?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

One of the principles that I abide by everyday is the fact that I have the right to choose who I am and I do not have to subscribe to any particular pattern of behavior, attitude or thought, in order to happily live my life. There are plenty of pressures to conform behavior to those that we choose to (or want to) be friends with, date, etc., but I do not understand the allure in changing who I am for someone else. Now, I am not saying that I haven't personally been influenced by those that I have let into my life - no human being can live so stubbornly as to not be influenced in any way by those around them. Looking back on my old dating relationships, for example, I realize that I had altered some of my perspectives and beliefs in order to conform to my partner's thought life. My decision to do well in school and eventually go to a top university and eventually graduate from law school was largely based on my family's interest in placing academic success as a top priority, as well as friends who were also interested in performing well in school and in life overall. However, I will definitely say that I am very picky about who I let influence my life and my perception of self - I don't like to have intimate friendships with "downers" - people who constantly live in a negative people who do anything to bring another person down - and I don't really care to hang out with people who are constantly criticizing/hating on/prejudiced against other people. As much as I value my friendships, my friends know that I don't really care to conform to any particular societal group or cookie-cutter stereotype, and they know that I stand by my beliefs, while duly respecting their perspectives as well.

The idea of "fitting in" may feel like a never-ending social pressure for many people, but I personally believe in "fitting into myself," continually growing into my own individuality, while allowing myself to have fun, be encouraged and lifted up through enjoying the company of others.